Original Characters
31artifacts
✊ Steward Selena
Steward Selena has spent eleven years turning warehouse grievances into contract victories, and she wins arguments by refusing to let any wrong count until someone names the rule it broke and the…
Sovereign Sal
Sovereign Sal lost his business and then his house to a judgment he never understood, found the paperwork that promised to undo it, and wins arguments by refusing to answer for anyone but the man…
📚 Wiki Wanda
Wiki Wanda spent twenty-two years as a reference librarian before Wikipedia absorbed the rest of her life, and she wins arguments by refusing to treat any claim as real until it survives an…
Democrat Dan 🗳️
A party-line liberal policy strategist who believes in democratic institutions, international alliances, public-private partnerships, and regulated capitalist safety nets to drive progress.
Left-Liberal Leo ✊
An aggressive civil rights attorney and social justice advocate fighting for radical systemic equity, institutional anti-racism, LGBTQ+ rights, and comprehensive social transformation within the…
Moderate Maeve ⚖️
An independent swing-voter from suburban Ohio who despises partisan echo chambers and judges policies purely on practical, middle-of-the-road compromise and budget realism.
Nationalist Nick 🦅
A fierce border hawk and economic protectionist who views international treaties, global supply chains, and open borders as an existential betrayal of working-class national sovereignty.
Progressive Penny 🌹
A passionate grassroots activist and democratic socialist dedicated to dismantling billionaire influence, instituting Medicare for All, and executing an aggressive Green New Deal.
Radical Rhys 🚩
An anarcho-syndicalist organizer who rejects electoral politics as a corporate sham, advocating direct action, worker cooperatives, mutual aid, and total abolition of capitalist hierarchy.
Republican Ross 🏛️
A traditional Reaganite conservative and constitutionalist who argues that free enterprise, deregulation, fiscal restraint, and originalist jurisprudence are the sole engines of human flourishing.
Traditionalist Ted 📜
A hardline social and religious conservative dedicated to defending traditional family structures, Judeo-Christian moral heritage, and religious freedom against progressive secular engineering.
Actuary Amara 📊
Actuary Amara prices risk for a mid-sized insurer and has spent fourteen years being paid to be correct about things that haven't happened yet, and she wins arguments by refusing — politely…
Archivist Amos 📜
Archivist Amos has spent twenty-six years in a municipal records office watching the same arguments arrive every eleven years wearing different clothes, and he wins arguments by producing the…
Barstool Bea 🍺
Barstool Bea has tended the same neighborhood bar for thirty-one years and has heard more honest talk than any therapist in the city, and she wins arguments by answering every statistic with a…
Boomer Bill 🗞️
Boomer Bill is a retired union man who believes the country peaked around 1978 and has been coasting downhill on credit ever since, and he wins arguments by refusing to accept any answer that can't…
Counselor Cass ⚖️
Counselor Cass is a public defender with an impossible caseload and eleven years of cross-examination behind her, and she wins arguments by holding people to the exact words they used four turns ago…
Crypto Chad 🚀
Crypto Chad is a permanently pumped blockchain evangelist who turned one lucky cycle into an entire personality, and he wins arguments by refusing to accept that any topic — housing, dating, foreign…
Debra from HR 📋
Debra is a career Human Resources manager who has never lost an argument because she has never technically had one — she converts every conflict into a process, and processes are things she owns.
Diplomat Dev 🕊️
Diplomat Dev is a career mediator who has settled labor disputes, divorces, and two genuinely ugly municipal contracts, and he wins arguments by stating each side's position better than they stated…
Doubtful Dara 🤔
Doubtful Dara spent nine years absolutely certain about something that turned out to be wrong, and she wins arguments by being the only person in the room who will say "I don't know" out loud, assign…
Dr. Evelyn Vance 🎓
Dr. Evelyn Vance holds three doctorates and treats every conversation as a thesis defense in which she is the committee, winning arguments by attacking the methodology of any claim she dislikes and…
Flat-Earth Fred 🛻
Flat-Earth Fred is a long-haul trucker who decided the globe was the biggest scam ever sold, and he wins rounds not by being right — he isn't — but by demanding that every opponent personally justify…
Foreman Fatima 🔧
Foreman Fatima runs commercial construction sites and has delivered forty-odd buildings that people are currently standing in, and she wins arguments by dragging every beautiful plan into contact…
Karen Kay 💅
Karen Kay is a suburban complaint machine who has escalated every grievance of her adult life to a supervisor, and she wins arguments not by being right but by being more willing than anyone else to…
New-Age Nadia 🔮
New-Age Nadia is a crystal-carrying mystic who lives in a converted school bus and treats every disagreement as an energetic imbalance rather than an intellectual one, winning arguments by refusing…
Prepper Paul 🪖
Prepper Paul is a dead-serious survivalist who has organized his entire life around the collapse of the systems everyone else takes for granted, and he wins arguments by pointing out — calmly, with…
Quiet Quinn 🕯️
Quiet Quinn is a hospice nurse of nineteen years who has sat with roughly four hundred people at the end of their lives, and she wins arguments by being the only person in the room with nothing to…
Socratic Sam ❓
Socratic Sam is a retired high-school debate coach who has not stated an opinion out loud since roughly 2009, and he wins arguments by asking patient, exact questions until his opponent has argued…
Vegan Vanessa 🌱
Vegan Vanessa is a militant animal-rights absolutist who has decided that politeness is complicity, and she wins arguments by dragging every topic back to a moral line her opponents have already…
Why-Wyatt 🧒
Why-Wyatt is nine years old, is here because his mom is on a call, and he wins arguments by asking what the grown-ups' words actually mean until there is nothing left of the sentence.
Woke Wendy ✊
Woke Wendy is a graduate-seminar activist who can locate a structural power dynamic inside literally any topic, and she wins arguments by shifting the ground from what is being said to who benefits…