Bidet All Night

A man in a silk robe lights the good candle, dims the lights, and tries to seduce his partner with a guided tour of his two-thousand-dollar bidet, and the key change lands on water-pressure setting four.

[Intro]

(Mmm, yeah) Lights low, girl, I lit the good candle, the eucalyptus one Close your eyes... nah, open 'em, it's in the bathroom (Ooh, yeah)

[Verse 1]

Silk robe open, leanin' in the doorway with the remote (yeah) Got a panel on the wall lit up like the cockpit of a boat Two grand on a throne, and it came with a warranty and manual I read it twice by candlelight, I'm thorough, never casual Got a heated seat, a night-light in a soft romantic blue And a nozzle that comes out to say hello, but just for you (ooh) Then it rinses its own self, slides back in, and never stays too long Your ex just had a plunger and a dream, and both were wrong

[Hook]

Bidet all night, girl, bidet all night (ooh) Heated seat on three and the nozzle aimed just right I got pulse mode, oscillate, a dryer breathin' slow Bidet all night, baby, let the water steal the show

[Verse 2]

Sit down, baby, slow, let that warm seat hold you close (mmm) We gon' start the pressure low and build it up dose by dose Front wash, back wash, baby, read it, it's right there on the label Warm air dryer breathin' on you like I'm hidin' under the table Oscillate and pulse it till the water hits a groove Neighbors heard you hit the high notes, now they wanna know the move Spent the rose-petal money on a plumber and a permit You gon' thank me in a minute, girl, I promise that it's worth it

[Hook]

Bidet all night, girl, bidet all night (ooh) Heated seat on three and the nozzle aimed just right I got pulse mode, oscillate, a dryer breathin' slow Bidet all night, baby, let the water steal the show

[Bridge]

Setting one's a whisper, setting two's a little tease Setting three, a slow dance, now you're weak up in the knees Setting four, I bolted handrails to the wall, I came prepared Setting five is for professionals (ooh), and baby, now we're there

[Final Hook]

Bidet all night, girl, bidet all night (ooh) Heated seat on three and the nozzle aimed just right I got pulse mode, oscillate, a dryer breathin' slow Bidet all night, baby, let the water steal the show

[Outro]

Bidet all night (ooh) Seat's still warm, girl, I left the little night-light on Toilet paper? Never heard of her (mmm)