Super-Size Vanilla

A skinny guy who fell for a big, gorgeous, pale suburban queen raps about it like he won the lottery, and the box spring didn't make it.

[Intro]

(Yeah, uh, ayy) This one for my big girls with the S P F fifty Mayonnaise queens, let me hear you (super-size!)

[Verse 1]

Met her at the Cracker Barrel, she was blocking out the sun (ayy) Pumpkin-spice perfume, she said "sugar, you the one" Skin like fresh printer paper, hips like a pickup truck She sat down on my lap and all my cousins wished me luck Back at the crib she grabbed the wheel and said "I'm on top" Downstairs neighbor called the city 'bout the ceiling drop She wrapped them thighs around me like a winter coat Now I'm a missing person, but I left a thank-you note

[Hook]

Super-size vanilla, gimme double, not a scoop (double!) Pale as a snowman, but she melting in my coupe (skrrt) Super-size vanilla, all that sugar, all that cream Box spring tapped out and the landlord heard us scream (ayy!)

[Verse 2]

Took her to the water park, she cannonballed the deep (splash) Every lifeguard held up tens, I was too proud to speak She bench-press me one-handed while she texting with the other Carried me across the threshold, then she called and told her mother Her ex, little Brad, said "she too much," nah, Brad, you too small (ayy) I came to climb that mountain with a helmet, rope, and all Lights low, vanilla candle, and the headboard keeping time Luckiest man in Ohio, and the mattress lost its mind

[Hook]

Super-size vanilla, gimme double, not a scoop (double!) Pale as a snowman, but she melting in my coupe (skrrt) Super-size vanilla, all that sugar, all that cream Box spring tapped out and the landlord heard us scream (ayy!)

[Bridge]

Hold up, kill the beat, fellas, let a grateful man confess You can keep your rice cake, I'm a buffet man, I'm blessed She ain't "big-boned," she a monument, a national park And I'm the lucky ranger with the flashlight after dark

[Final Hook]

Super-size vanilla, gimme double, not a scoop (double!) Pale as a snowman, but she melting in my coupe (skrrt) Super-size vanilla, all that sugar, all that cream Box spring tapped out and the landlord heard us scream (ayy!)

[Outro]

Super-size vanilla (double!) She the scoop, and I'm the cone Mama, I ain't missing, I just ain't never coming home (skrrt)